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Ourselves. What's wrong with that?" Despite my irritation at having my life discussed as if I weren't in the room I was quite touched by my friends' loyal defense of me and most of all by Aahz. "You know partner " I said softly "for a minute there you sounded just like my father. He wanted me to be the best. . . or more specifically to be better than he was. My mom always tried to tell me that it was because he loved me but at that time it just sounded like he was always being critical. Maybe she was right. . . I'm more inclined to believe it today than I was then but then again I'm older now. If nothing else I've had to try to tell people I love them when the words just won't come . . . and gotten upset with myself when they couldn't see it when I tried to show them. "Aahz I appreciate your concern and I want your guidance. You're right there are paths and options I can't even comprehend yet. But I also.
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